Monday, December 31, 2012

In an hour

In an hour
The world starts over--
Fresh ideals
Fresh resolutions
With the same old resolve.
In an hour
Another tally mark is placed on my life's slate
Another day is taken off the bottom
And I'm an hour closer to another milestone.
In an hour
I'll be just as I am now
But changed
In realizing that time,
Time,
Time is tick tocking relentlessly toward my final melodious note--
The pages turning toward the last word in my final chapter.
And I'm left with the urgent need to make something happen.
In an hour,
I'll embrace my loves
And pray that time stands still.
And in an hour
That prayer will go unanswered.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Maid Service Double-Standard Reality Check

So for Christmas, my dear husband purchased me a groupon for a one time house cleaning from a local maid service. And before all the ladies start rolling their eyes, you must understand that I am probably the world's worst housekeeper. I'm a stay at home mom who on MOST days lifts not a finger toward cleaning, picking up after herself, or anyone else, to be honest. His gift of this house cleaning was really to "let me off the hook" so to speak. I desperately want a clean house, but rarely have the energy and desire to make that happen. 

But I've been feeling compelled to change this bad and slothful behavior of mine. I want to set an example to my children of cleanliness, responsibility, and order. And I'm committed to allowing this cleaning to jump start me into the New Year--starting off with a clean slate.

The maid service came today to clean my house. She was here for 3 hours and cleaned a ton and still couldn't get every surface. There was just too much dirt. 

Paying someone to clean my home really made me look at the state of my home. I was double checking her work (not in a haughty way, but in a curious as to how it looks-kinda-way), and I even cleaned some surfaces that she wasn't able to get to.

I mean Superman probably wouldn't have been able to clean my whole house in 3 hours, regardless of being faster than a speeding bullet. 

This process of going over her work and noticing the left over surfaces that she couldn't get to made me realize that the standard I used for myself is much lower than the standard I held for her.

And reflecting on that tonight, I'm realizing that I hold almost everyone in my life to higher expectations and standards than I demand of myself. 

I demand so much from those around me, and yet feel less than inclined to reciprocate or set an example through my own behavior. 

This has to change. If I want respect from my children, I need to show respect.

If I want my baseboards cleaned a certain way, I better get to setting the example.

If I want to be paid attention to, I need to start paying attention to others.

This unbalanced way of leading my life needs to be checked. It's an unfair double-standard, and I'm ashamed of it.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Newtown

Is anyone safe?
Anyone?
From the wild machinations of mad men?
The loud banging
Of extinguished souls
Forever seared in the
Tramautized minds
of lucky(?) survivors.
And what of us?
What of us fellow Americans,
Fellow fathers and mothers,
Fellow men and women,
Fellow human beings?
How do we help convince you
That there's life after these deaths?
How do I help you remember that
God is good?
How can I comfort you in
God's justice?
Where would I be?
What would I do,
If I were you?
Could I ever smile again?
Could I ever laugh or hope?
Could I ever worship or praise?
Should I?
An imbittered hardened heart
That should beat only for the Lord
Stops mid-beat.
And only God can make it
Thump
Once more.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

My Dying Muse


What happened to the girl filled with rhyming words,
Who saw the world through verse and prose--
That loved the edges where reality blurred
Where in her lines the world she froze. 

She let them slip through her disused fingers
Her writing all but obsolete
And the worlds she built simply linger
In a moribund reality she can barely see.

Where did the words go, she wonders.
Where did my expressive passion hide?
When will I find my elemental lovers
With which I sculpted paradise in my mind?

I Remember You

Strangers lost in far off places
Left behind with nare a thought
Passing quickly with unrecognizable faces
Memories for which no one fought


Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Science with Lia--Light

We learned about light today.

We learned that ordinary, white light is actually made up of many colors! We made this cool color wheel and spun it on a string to show how all the colors blend together and how your eye can't pick out any one color in particular!
Then we read The Magic School Bus Makes a Rainbow to really drive home the point that white light is made of different colors, and when those colors come together it becomes while light again. Really great story!

But then I confused her royally when we talked about light bending. We used water and oil to show how the light bends and makes the noodle* look broken. As you remember a few days ago we did a density experiment with water and oil. So she got really confused what we were talking about when I introduced water, oil, air, light, noodles, and bending. Just TMI for my baby girl. But it was cool nonetheless. I had her draw observe the glasses from different angles and draw what she saw. 
Left: Noodle in Water. Center: Noodle in Oil. Right: Noodle in Water and Oil. 


*The experiment called for straws, of which I have none! Noodles worked just as well I suppose. Although we did NOT achieve the result instructed in the book for the oil and water combination. Supposedly the "straw" was supposed to look broken in 2 places. As you can see on the right, it only looked broken once.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Salt Dough Ornaments

So I'm still on my mission to be a more "hands-on" mom. Tonight we made ornaments for our tree.

Set oven to 200F
Then we mixed 1c of all-purpose flour
1/2c salt
~3/4c of water

We rolled it out with our rolling pin and used our Christmas cookie cutter shapes.

Here's the aftermath:

Even Maggie wanted to join in on the fun:




W
We baked them for what seemed an eternity (about 3 hours) then I flipped them over for about another hour. Then came the fun part: paint and glitter!
I asked Lee if he were purposefully trying to make the ugliest ornaments ever! 
Lia's Creations!
These were mine- minus the pink tri-heart at the top. That was lee's.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Homemade Baby Food cont...

So I mustered the courage and pureed my chicken dinner!

This is before:


This is what it looked like after:

I used the baby bullet that my husband and older daughter gave me for Christmas last year, and it worked really well!

The consistency is a little gritty and the color very pale. I don't know how to fix that! But I'm going to keep trying and researching how to get a better consistency with chicken.

But Maggie ate it up just the same! So I must not have done too poorly.

Here's what I did:

I roasted a 3-4 lbs turkey in the oven stuffed with lemon, onion, sage, thyme, rosemary, and apples. I lined the pan with carrots, celery, apples, lemons, onions, and potatoes. (425 degree oven, 1/4 turn of the pan every 20 mins, for about an hour to an hour 20mins. I cover with foil for the most part of cooking and right when it's almost done, I remove the foil to crisp the skin.)

Once it was done, I stuck it in the fridge, and didn't get the courage to puree it until the next day.

I put 1/2 the breast, potatoes, apples, and carrots in the blender. (I cut up extra apples and carrots and put them in with the cooked ones) Poured plenty of water and PUREED!

I kept adding water as I needed to achieve the creamiest texture I could.

The end :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Homemade Baby Food


Let me start out by saying that I have been trying to make all of Maggie's baby food from home using organic or all natural ingredients. I haven't been as consistent as I wanted when I started this venture, but I feel like I'm finally getting my groove.

Anyway my friend Chrissy, fellow blogger and mommy of two, gave me this wonderful and EASY idea!

I milled some old fashioned oats (of which I always have in stock and in abundance!), milled it into a fine powder and cooked it till it was nice and smooth. (You can make bigger batch to reserv for other meals) I let it cool and mixed with apple sauce. VOILA!  A hearty, homemade, easy breakfast for my little peanut. And she LOVED it. I couldn't believe how much she ate.  This meal cost me pennies! I always have these ingredients on hand.


I also baked her a chicken dinner consisting of all organic chicken, potatoes, apples, herbs, lemons celery, carrots, and onion. But how in the world am I suppose to puree this!!!!! 

Anyway, once I've figured it out, I'll let you know how it went. Wish me luck!

Friday, November 23, 2012

Science with Lia-- Alka-Seltzer lava lamp

I am in no way a creative mom, but I LOVE to learn new things and science is particularly interesting. I stumbled across a blogger who home schools her children, and she is always doing amazingly fun experiments and projects. It really inspired me to find more resources, blogs, websites, books on experiments that I can do at home.

We did some salt experiments a few days ago. CLICK HERE to read that post.They were easy, fast to do, and a perfect introduction to the world of home learning. 

Tonight we did another experiment. Here's how it went.

We started by pouring oil into a bottle about 2/3's full. (it would look cooler if we had more oil and less water. more like 3/4 oil to 1/4 water. Incase you want to try it at home)


Then we filled it the rest of the way with water and observed how the oil and water don't mix. We also noted that the water sank to the bottom and the oil floated on top. (water is more dense than oil)

Then Lia put food coloring, drop by drop, and noticed how each drop sank to the bottom.



The food coloring didn't mix with the oil, but once it reached the water at the bottom, the color mixed pretty quickly.


Then came the fun part. We broke apart a couple of alka-seltzer tablets and dropped them in. (The tablets released carbon dioxide gas and sent blue bubbles into the oil) Click play on the video to see our lava lamp in action!!








 Last we screwed on the top tightly and made waves! FUN :)








Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Salt Science with Lia

We observed the effect salt has on ice tonight. Being from the Deep South I am not very familiar with ice and cold weather. So tonight as I am explaining to my daughter that people who live in very cold climates pour salt on the roads when they've iced over and why, I was feeling out of my comfort Zone.

Needless to say I learned a thing or two tonight as we watched the salt basically eat through the ice. I was shocked! Haha i was probably more impressed than Lia was!

But we weren't done with the salt yet! Observe our gorgeous salt paintings!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The worst part of me

You taught me
The worst part of me.
How to be and stay angry.
How to scream
And how to yell
How to beat
And how to dwell
On all the imperfect and
Inconvenient traits
Of those I love and those I hate.

Delve

Saturday, November 10, 2012

GMO Corn, you son of a....!

For a latina who eats corn tortillas at almost every meal, the discovery that 198% of corn is genetically modified and is surely going to kill me slowly and painfully has me really reevaluating my life.

And it's not just my corn, but the sugar I use to sweeten my oatmeal, my cereal, my baked goods, my coffee, and tea.

The high fructose corn syrup in ALL of my prepackaged sweets and soft drinks.

My edamame.

My cereal.

My frozen veggies

My life has become genetically modified, and I am not pleased.

So I've adjusted by replacing all of my food with organic food that only cost 500x's more than conventional foods, but I feel is totally worth it because I'm paranoid that I'll grow a third arm due to the exorbitant quantity of corn tortillas I've ingested.

Add this to my all natural cleaners, my organic milk, organic cheese, organic eggs, organic flour, organic beans, organic butter, etc...
Because I'm eliminating rBGH, steroids, antibiotics, food coloring, waxes, pesticides, and Lord only knows what else!

It's just disgusting that one has to take so much care and spend so much money to get normal, natural produce. I mean what the hell!?!??!?!?

Anyway, here's a cool guide that you can print out and take to the grocery with you to help you avoid purchasing GMO food!
-->CLICK ME<-->

Thursday, November 08, 2012

A failing mom

I find that ever since Maggie was born my patience with my older daughter has been so little that it's barely existent. Tonight was the single worst night of my life as a parent. I completely flipped my lid on Lia. I feel like Lia has received the short end of the stick when it comes to my patience, attention, humor, gentleness, enthusiasm, you name it, and I've neglected it with regard to her--for the last SEVEN months.

This is what I feared most about having multiple children--that inevitable favoring or better treatment of one child over the other. And what makes it worse is that you feel it in your soul. Everything about your interaction is feigned. It's like you're trying so hard to be patient or kind with one when it comes so easily with the other.

I rationalize by telling myself that I'm like this because Maggie's just a baby and perhaps she just sucks up so much of my attention and warmth that I'm drained by the time Lia comes around. And perhaps it's true, but that doesn't excuse how harsh I can be toward Lia. She's just a little girl too, and I'm completely convinced that this is a critical period in Lia's life and I'm totally messing her up.

I need to pray more. I need God to intervene. I need to fill myself up with so much of his love and grace that I'm overflowing like a fountain and covering both of my girls!

Tomorrow Lia and I had planned a mommy/ daughter date, and I hope it goes well. But I once read this quote that said something like "you can't damage your relationship with your child with one bad day, but you can't fix a relationship with only one good day." And I totally agree. If tomorrow goes perfectly well, it will only be one day-a drop in the bucket- compared to the many bad days!

Friday, November 02, 2012

Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way

I'm currently reading "Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way," by Blessed John Paul II. He wrote this with the intended audience of his bishops. Men that govern and serve diocese around the world--leaders of the Church. He goes into minute detail over several traditions, symbolic practices, artifacts and customs within the Church--all that seem to have had profound emotional meaning to him. 

I can sense his deep respect and connection to these rituals, but his most poignant commentary is when he deflects from the official churchiness of something and just communicates universally on the calling to be a leader in the Church, the expectations of a leader, the qualities of a person whose aim is to guide his congregation to salvation and even those outside of his congregation--those who have yet to accept Christ--into the loving and just arms of God. 

Having once been a student of the Catholic religion, I have first hand experience with the traditions and customs that come with being a Catholic, even as simple as genuflecting before entering your pew and when to appropriately make the sign of the cross, when to stand, kneel, sit, etc, and I've observed and studied the traditions and symbolic acts of the priests, the nuns, the arch-bishops, and even the pope himself! 

Our lives as Catholics are like carefully choreographed dances--each move a symbolic act of some ancient milestone in our faith that we must routinely perform lest we forget the significance of those early revelations and veer off the righteous path toward damnation. 

What's my point?!?!?!

My point, I suppose, is that God's love is our only salvation. That regardless of what tradition we may practice, when we feel deeply the love of God--enough to allow it to penetrate our every cell so that it transforms us into people who love others no matter what--then whether I genuflect, or cross myself, or celebrate the Eucharist every Sunday or practice any other routine, tradition, or custom that inevitably creeps into all churches (because we as humans crave routine and familiarity) we are universally saved through Christ's blood. BECAUSE I am now completely convinced that not a single Christian denomination can have the full, complete, and perfect expression of faith. Because we as people are not full, complete, and perfect practitioners of faith. Because we as humans are incapable of knowing the fullness of truth without the Spirit's revelation. 

I find that once upon a time had someone criticized Catholicism for its customs I would have lashed out with my defensive guns ablaze. (And to be honest, I do still find myself defending this religion wholeheartedly from attack stemming from ignorance and intolerance--even from other Christians.) But  having stepped away these several years, I can see how and why these ancient rituals seem archaic, redundant, and unnecessary to others who do not feel the profound emotional and spiritual connection within these acts as many Catholics and especially the clergy of Catholicism feel. Reading this book just shows me further how God can use any number of expressions to tie souls to Himself, to connect man with His eternal Spirit, to enable His people to experience and feel His presence. 

Regardless if we find them unnecessary, it is clear that John Paul II respected these symbols of his succession of the apostle Peter. He loved the Lord, and he loved the Lord's people. So in the end, regardless of his routines, he was a holy and blessed man, worthy of respect and a cherished model of Christian living.



Saturday, October 27, 2012

Purified Cold

The sharp rustling of dry brown leaves
Scratches against my mind--
Distracting me.
Then quickly gaining my full attention,
I notice
The cool breeze flowing through the window
Silkily running across my skin,
Like chilled satin.
The subtle creaking of thousands of branches
Bending and flexing with the winds
Add an eerie harmony to the leaves'
Percussive chorus.

Clean.
The cold purifies.
And deeply I inhale
Hoping that somehow this immaculate gale
Could penetrate my soul
My mind
My thoughts
And wash away all that festers deep within.
All the memories stashed away
Threatening to spill into my now.

I am quiet most nights
Rarely a word escapes my lips
Nor a glance my eyes do take.
Reflecting
Is my nights' task.
Beating down my rogue vices is
My nocturnal need.
But the distraction of tonight's natural rustic rhythm
Has been most inspiring
And revealing.

Monday, October 22, 2012

When the wrong words come

If all there were in my life,
Were moments of clarity,
Pure genius,
Sincere Humor, and
Wise insights,
Then there would be no need
To apologize so often--
To stay awake at night
Wondering
If those words were better left unsaid.
delve

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Cloth Diapering in an Apartment

Cloth diapering while living in an apartment can create some challenges, but it is NOT impossible.

Here are some tips that I've found helpful in making cloth diapering and apartment living easier.

Stains

I live on the third floor of an apartment complex. I have no deck. So basically, I have no personal outdoor area. Sunning your diapers is really the best way to bleach out pesky stains that didn't come out in the wash, but with no access to private sun space, your diapers can get a bit (what's a good way to put this...) colorful. I've found that if you hose off your poopy diaper and then spray with an enzyme solution before putting it into the diaper pail, you can really prevent a lot of the discoloration.

--A cloth diapering mommy that I recently met said her apartment-living friend used to take her diapers out to the pool area and sun them there!--

Now depending on how brave you are, this may be a good option for you.

Also if you have a friend with a yard that will allow you to bring your diapers over during a play date, you can kill 2 birds with one stone.

**but DON'T stress** stains are purely cosmetic and do not affect the diaper at all!

Drying

Again because I have no outdoor space, drying my diapers depends solely on the effectiveness of my dryer. I found that if I loaded the dryer with only diapers, it would take 2-3 cycles to get them fully dried. A cloth-diapering mom from church, who has c.d'erd 3 children, gave me this stunning (while totally common-sensical) advice.

--Do a load of laundry first, then do your diapers (or vice versa), then dry them all together! For some reason, the diapers dry better when being dried with other clothes. Then she said, "and if they need some more time, I almost ALWAYS have another load of clothes I need to wash anyway. I can pick out my diapers and keep them in the dryer until it's time to dry the other load of clothes". BRILLIANT!

Now I never waste energy on drying my cloth diapers. I always do it in conjunction with my other laundry.

Organizing

Space is very limited in apartment living (at least it is in my apartment). We didn't have space to have a separate changing table to organize all our diapering supplies (because YES with c.d.'ing there are necessary supplies). We used our dresser as the changing space and used stacking racks (that you find in the kitchen supplies section of your Walmart for 5$ a piece. They aren't gorgeous, but they are effective) to put our cloth wipes, diapers and covers--utilizing vertical area and not taking up any more real estate in our room or dresser than necessary.

Hope this helps! If you are a cloth diapering mom, with anymore helpful advice please share, or if you have any questions about cloth diapering, ask away!

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Movement

It takes me a minute
to realize that I'm moving.
Unconsciously
My hips begin to sway--
Rhythmically.
Foot tapping,
Hands swaying at my sides,
Eyes closing,
And then I become aware
That the music has taken over my mind--
My body,
And there's no escape
From its pulsating prison.


Friday, September 21, 2012

An Infamously Crappy Mom

Crappy mothers from around the globe have united at Just Add Cloth. I often struggle with mommy guilt over mistakes I've made or just out of my laziness. But tonight I have decided to put aside my guilt and be a "mommy martyr" no more. I've compiled a list of my offenses for anyone out there with stones to throw.

1. I'm a cosleeping mom. I've yet to roll over any of my children, and they seem to be thriving.
2. I often read all day and all night long. Holding but rarely looking at my kids until reality strikes (usually when I have to go pee.)
3. My 5 month old gets a bath about every 2 weeks. (the rest of the time I wipe her neck and underarms and apply a generous amount of baby powder to mask any stankiness)
4. My 5 year old eats cereal for 2 out of 3 meals almost every day she's home.
5. I can't wait for my baby to sleep through the night and start eating food, so that I can go out dancing and have at least 2 mixed drinks.
6. I once put my baby in the laundry basket while I was trying to load the washer in the laundry room....she just wouldn't let me put her down anywhere else. I called it a compromise.
7. I often run errands just so that I can get away from my family for a while; then when I arrive at home, I chill in the car for 30+mins while reading a book.

Wait...there's more
8. I convinced Lia that if she ate sugar all her teeth would fall out her mouth.
9. I frighten/threaten my child w/ grotesque imagery ie. You'll poke your eyeballs out, You'll get run over by a car and be squished flat as a pancake, etc..
10. I told my 5 year old that Santa Clause does NOT exist!


These are only a few of my transgressions, my friends. But I'm not the only crappy mom out there, I assure you! Visit Just Add Cloth and stand in awe of an entire community of the crappiest moms in the world.


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Diaper Guilt

Becoming a cloth diapering mama has totally ruined the easy-breezy feeling of years past when I could slap a disposable diaper on my baby and think nothing of it.

Now after devoting myself to cloth diapering and educating myself of its benefits and the harms of disposables, the thought of using disposable diapers causes me extreme anxiety! I think about that Huggie filling up with that jelly-like goo in a dump somewhere, leaking chemicals into the soil and slowly but very surely killing the Earth and all human-kind along with it.

Well like I shared with you in my last post, I'm visiting family in New Orleans for a week, and my father-in-law very generously bought a pack of DISPOSABLES for Maggie, so I wouldn't have to pack my cloths. (I'm sure they also wanted to save me and themselves from having to wash her stanky diapers in their machine.)

Anyway, the thought of using those eco-nonfriendly, chemical diapers has been causing me some strife. I know that it is only for 1 week and not a (super)big deal, but I can't help feeling a little guilty about it.

Ignorance truly is bliss *sigh*

Monday, September 17, 2012

Home

I'm finally going home to NOLA this saturday for an entire week. But tonight I'm filled with an almost overwhelming home-sickness. Maybe it's because I'm so close to seeing my dad and mom that I'm finally realizing how much I miss them. I know that God has plans to reunite my family, but it's just so painful knowing how much of my life they are missing out on, how excruciating I find it that my father has yet to meet Maggie, how I wish we could meet for breakfast on Saturday mornings-- my father and I gorging on biscuits, bacon, eggs, and ALWAYS a single pancake, while my mom orders a "dry" biscuit and black coffee with at least a 1/4 cup of sugar in it.

Tears are steaming down my face, not out of excitement but out of near inconsolable sadness. It feels like my life has been split into halves. One half consisting of my parents and of New Orleans and of my family and how it was years ago, when we were all best friends, and when I was young and of a place where I was free and reckless, and quixotic, and beautiful.

The other half is here in Raleigh, and I'm mature, and a good wife, and an aspiring excellent mother, and a leader of worship at a church, and studying apologetics, and cooking meals for my family, and older, wiser, kinder...

I know my life is no longer back there in New Orleans. I realize that New Orleans is my Egypt, and that I had arrived at the promised land here in Raleigh. I know that going back would not be good for my children or for my marriage and maybe it wouldn't be good for me either.

But there has to be something I can bring back with me. A piece of home here. Maybe I could bring the French Quarter, or just the beignets, maybe I can bring jazz to the streets, or an underground playhouse featuring an improv cast, or perhaps I can bring everyone's yat accents, or maybe just crawfish étouffée. But most of the time I wish that piece were my parents. Sometimes I wonder (and doubt) if they'd ever agree to come.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Sexy

I know I've mentioned my Facebook wall before, but it really bears repeating! My Facebook friends are the craziest people on Earth. I once said that my wall is filled with 2 things: obscene photos and angry atheist posts.

So I've previously written about those angry atheists here, now it's time to address the former: Obscene photos.

What is it with my girl friends and wanting the world to find them sexy? Every photo is purposefully staged so as to capture both face and boobs.

At what point in a woman's life does she decide that being sexy isn't important anymore? And I'm not meaning that your husband doesn't find you attractive, but OTHERS, like STRANGERS?

I have so many friends that after having 2+ kids and being married for years still think it incredibly important to be considered sexy by people who are not their husbands. They post sexy photos, provocative speech, just generally try-too-hard...

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to feel beautiful (and sometimes it feels even nicer when it's NOT your spouse who thinks you're beautiful). And I used to want people to think I was sexy too, back when I was 18!

Vanity is an intriguing vice. I fall prey to it at times too, but I put it in check especially before I hit "post" on my facebook :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Preparing myself to prove the existence of God! Yikes

I've decided to partner with a friend from church and lead a group on apologetics designed to tackle tough questions and doubts about the existence or nature of God. So for the last 3 months I've been reading non-stop about Christian apologetics, listening to podcasts regarding different theological arguments, and watching debates between renown Atheists and Christians. It's really mind-bending stuff this apologetics!

But just a small excerpt that I found wonderful with regard to the argument of there being an explanation for all that has begun to existence, "Imagine that you're hiking through the woods and you come across a translucent ball lying on the forest floor. You would naturally wonder how it came to be there. If one of your hiking partners said to you, 'Hey, it just exists inexplicably. Don't worry bout it!' you'd either think that he [were] crazy or figure that he just wanted you to keep moving. No one would take seriously the suggestion that the ball existed there with literally no explanation. Now suppose you increase the size of the ball so that it's the size of a car...size of a house...size of a continent...planet...universe."

Monday, September 03, 2012

When the Day Dies Down

sunlight through blinds

The pink and orange hues of a dying day
Captured and uniformed in such a way
That they lie in rows upon my floor
Bordered in long, thin shadows just like before.

Stretching and dimming as the hours pass
And its ethereal spectrum doesn't last
Half as long as it probably should
But I'm sure it'd stay longer, if only it could.

I sit and stare at dust in rays
Descending slowing during this dying day
Imagining it waltzing slowly to its grave
Better to dance and die with grace than to fight and die brave.

delve


Thursday, August 30, 2012

The first time I missed a hurricane

Being that I was born and raised in New Orleans, LA, I'm well acquainted with the hurricane/evacuation/flooding/no electricity/pirogue-paddling-down-the-street process. I have experienced these storms since birth, as all New Orleanians have, which is probably why no one got too worried when news of Isaac came and decided not to evacuate. Instead, they boarded up the windows, filled up their cars with gas, bought water, and "hunkered down." It's the way we do things.

I asked my folks a couple of days before hurricane Isaac if they were planning on evacuating, and they answered very seriously, "If it turns into a Cat 3, then we'll leave."

Well it never did turn into a Cat 3, and they never left.

Hurricanes have a way of bringing the worst and the best out of people. Communities band together in the days after the storm--helping rebuild fences, sharing materials and food. Hundreds of locals have been working through the storm and around the clock to bring relief and to rescue those in danger.
But on the flip side theres looting and hunger and anger and violence. Its dangerous and peaceful all at the same time.

Last bad hurricane to hit LA came in 2008. We were living in Baton Rouge at the time Hurricane Gustav came through. We didn't evacuate until a week after the storm-- having had no electricity and running very low on food. It took 2-3 weeks for the power to come back after Gustav. But eventually life went back to normal, if not better.

Trust me NOLA was rebuilt better after Katrina and Baton Rouge after Gustav. Each time something like this happens, you are really left with no option but to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and start over. And that's what LA will do after Isaac.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Quotes of Late

Lia: "Maggie!!! You smell like brocolli!"
---------------------------

Jillien:"You know what, Lee? Sometimes I forget that I'm not 24 years old. It's so weird. I still think I'm 24 years old.
Lee: No. You're WAY older than that!
---------------------------

Lee: Are you sure you don't wanna go to the grocery?! I can't take another day of peanut butter and jelly.
Jillien: You're not eating peanut butter and jelly now.
Lee: Yeah this tortilla with ketchup is not much better.


Friday, August 24, 2012

Why are unbelievers so angry?

My Facebook wall is filled with the CRAZIEST posts imaginable. My husband jokes that we can't open my Facebook whenever kids are around from fear of having them exposed to some raunchy, angry, offensive, weird stuff!

But for the most part my wall is filled with 1 of 2 things:
Either obscene pictures 
or
Angry atheistic posts and photos

Now with regard to these angry atheist posts, I wonder where their adamance comes from? I had a friend once say, "You know, I don't believe in the tooth fairy, but I don't feel any compulsions to walk up to random children and yell in their faces 'THERE'S NO TOOTH FAIRY!!! ITS ALL MAKE BELIEVE. YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT FOR BELIEVING THE IN TOOTH FAIRY!!" 

So I don't believe in the tooth fairy, it doesn't stir up any strong feelings.

And really, he has a point. If you don't believe in God, then don't. Where does this anger and need to exclaim and constantly profess this unbelief come from? 

I have a theory, and it happens to come from my first hand experience living and marrying my husband who was an atheist when we met, and who is now a devout Christian.

Let me start off by saying that there are some atheists who are mostly scientific, who lost faith due to some inconsistency they found within the natural world and the word of God, but they don't usually express such anger.

But regarding my experience with my friends who have become atheists to the point of anger against God this is my theory:

They encompass a soul; so every fibre of their beings calls and yearns for the holy Spirit, but something has happened in their pasts that make them angry against God. It could have been a betrayal, abandonment, abuse, injustice, suffering, the list goes on. But something happened to them that they felt was so unfair and unloving that they became incensed! So through their anger they decided that a truly loving God must not exist because he allowed "______" to happen. 

They lash out at Christians and try to stump them with tough questions, such as "Well if Jesus is God, who did he pray to?" yadda yadda yadda.  They ask these questions, while on the surface hoping the Christian fumbles in his response so they can pounce and humiliate him, but under the surface, deep down in the very pit of their subconscious, they are yearning for an answer that makes sense. They are dying inside for someone to love them. And they get so FRUSTRATED when they receive fluffy sentimental answers, when what they really need is reason! They want this world to make sense.  

And it is because of this that we as Christians need to start taking our faith seriously--we need to mature in our faith and move on from sentimentality to science and reason. God created science and so really the evidence is stacked on our side. But we need to learn it. We need to arm ourselves with the truth so that when a hungry atheist is biting at our heals we have the bread of life with which to nourish him! 

Pick up a book on Christian apologetics like Dr. Craig's On Guard or Strobel's Case for Christ or Case for Faith. Read and learn. Fill your mind with the wonder of the LORD and then let your cup overflow into the lives of your neighbors, coworkers, friends, and unbelievers!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Why I prefer Prefolds!--Cloth diapers

My lil' Maggie is soon to turn 5 months old, and since birth I've been using cloth diapers on her.

During this cloth diapering adventure, I have used ALL types of diapers: fitted, prefolds, All-in-Ones, every type of cover on the market and several different brands of diapers i.e. bummies, thirsties, cloth-eez, bum genius, swaddlebees--THE WORKS.

All that to paint the picture for you that I have ruled out certain diapers through the process of elimination. Of course, cloth diapering is a subjective, and each mother has her own favorites or methods.

Here's mine:
I love prefolds! "Why?!: You may be asking. Lemme tell ya...

Reason #1
They are malleable. There are several different folds you can use depending on what works best on your child. I tend to use one fold when I know baby is probably going to go #2 in that diaper, and a different fold, when I know baby is just going to be making peepee.

Fitteds and all all-in-ones are they way they are, plain and simple. Be they too long, too wide, or too tight around the thigh---deal with it. Not a prefold. It conforms. I like that.

Reason #2
Yes, prefolds do take the longest to put on, but it's totally worth it because I find them to be the most effective. Reason being is this: whenever baby has what would normally be a "blowout," it is VERY rare that it should leak out of the prefold, but if it does, the COVER is there to catch it. This means that I've never had to throw out an outfit because it got poop all over it! I have a 2-prong defense against the poop! Yeah my cover may have gotten a bit poopy, but BIG DEAL. I pop that sucker into the diaper pail and pull out another set.

Reason #3
They are the least expensive route to cloth diapering. Fitteds are more expensive for a convenience that is minuscule, and all-in-ones are MUCH pricier, and I've found that they take an ETERNITY to dry--so they suck up even more of my $$ through running the drier over and over.

Look I'm no cloth diapering expert. I'm just a regular mom trying to save a buck and keep my kids healthy. I've not read any scholarly journals or taken classes at Duke University on cloth diapering. I'm just telling you what I've found through my real-world experience. I have friends that SWEAR by all-in-ones. They say they are just like disposables. (I don't find that to be the case. My experience has been that they are prone to leaking.)

Anyway, if you want to be environmentally friendly AND save a few bucks--try prefolds and covers. They take an extra 15 seconds at the changing table, but save a net ton of diapers from entering landfills and keep your hard earned cash in your pocket!

POST SCRIPT:

YIKES I didn't even mention the diapers that you have to stuff with those doublers. Those take a LIFETIME to prep. Just buy a prefold and move on :D

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Advice for 1st Time Stay at Home Moms

So a friend of mine recently  decided to become a stay at home mom after having her 3rd child. She had worked out the home for her whole adult life, and her mother had taken care of her previous 2 children. But after moving to NC, there was no one familiar that she would feel comfortable leaving her children with. This left her with a really difficult and scary decision to make. Find a daycare or stay at home....

She and her husband decided it was best to stay home.

I've been a stay at home mom for the majority of the lives of my daughters. When my eldest was near 4 years old, we moved to NC and I got a job. I worked for about a year and a half, but when I found out that I was pregnant with our second daughter, I started making arrangements to stay home at around the 6th month of my pregnancy.

I understand how comforting it is to have a second income, and during that time, I was able to get us out of debt and save for a 6 month emergency fund. I was blessed to have my pastor's wife and great friend taking care of Lia during that time. But every fiber of my being calls to me to be with my children. I honestly had no idea prior to becoming a mother that I would want to be a stay at home mom. I definitely wasn't brought up that way...

My mother was a career woman. She went back to work 3 weeks after I was born. She didn't change a single diaper and had my grandmother take care of most of the nurturing aspects of rearing an infant. But she was brilliant and strong. Independent and competent. And she reared me to be just like her.  It was my husband (who had been brought up with a sahm all his life) who convinced me to stay home with Lia. I was DEAD SET on maintaining my career and earning a living. But he was right. I LOVED every minute.

So I've had experience going from sahm to work-out-the-home mom back to being a stay-at-home mom, and here's my advice to those who are considering doing this major leap of faith.

#1 RELAX:
Be confident in your ability as a mother. No one can love your children better or more than you can. Remember that even if you make mistakes that the holy Spirit will be able to straighten out any wrinkles in your parenting technique. Like I always say... "You gotta fake it, till you make it!" Do your best and good things will eventually result.

#2 TITHE:
There is less money. Going from one income to two requires some major self-control and discipline when it comes to your money handling. The first step to acquiring that discipline is by tithing. Tithing is the practice of giving 10% of your income to your local church, and if you don't have a local church give it to charity (then go find a church :D). It also sets a culture of generosity in your family and a realization that you are blessed and rich-AND that there are others out there that need more than you. Set a culture of obedience to God and generosity toward others. Start tithing today. (This is good advice to any and everyone in all situations actually)

#3 IDENTITY:
Remember to be yourself. Yes, we love being mothers, but that is NOT all we are as women. I was Jillien before I was a mother and will be Jillien still once my girls are out of the house. If I lose myself, I risk being very unhappy when I can't find myself after I remember to start looking. Find hobbies, friends, routines outside of those you have for your children.

I'm sure there are so many other things I could say, but these three to me are the most important. Feel free to comment with any other words of advice you may have.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

How much is TOO much?

So I know parents out there can agree with me when  I say that sometimes kids get themselves in sticky situations or potentially dangerous situations, but then MIRACULOUSLY come out unscathed!

Well this week my 3 month old did the old "roll-off-the-couch" maneuver. While I was totally wigged out, she actually didn't hurt herself or even fuss for more than 15 seconds! She landed on a pillow, but that doesn't take away from the panic and overall crappiness I felt, having allowed her to fall off of the darn couch...

Now came my dilemma. Taking into consideration that Baby was alright, Should I or Shan't I tell Lee that baby rolled off couch?

One friend advised to tell him in like 20 years when its become inconsequential.
Can you imagine that conversation? "Oh yeah, I have something to tell you. When baby was 3 months old she rolled off the couch. It was terrifying! Pretty touch and go for a while. But as you can see, alls well that ends well. Love ya :D"

At the same time, telling him now when he's so emotionally charged and overbearingly protective of her could cause him to overreact ey? And if you know my husband, you also know that he has a tendency to overreact to such situations.

So, I did end up telling him, and I have to admit that he took it rather well.



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Little Lia goes to School

Crazy how long 5.5years takes to FLY by. Its so strange. On one hand it feels like there was no life before being a mother. Like this day was a long time coming, and on the other hand, it feels like just yesterday she was a tiny baby sleeping in my arms.

Congratulations Lia on your first day of school. This is the first day of 20+ years of formal education, my baby. Good luck.

Quotes of Late: Butterfly edition

Me: Lia, tell me what 2 things balloons are good for?
Lia: Popping and flying away.
Me: That's right baby :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lia: Mommy, you think that God catches all the balloons that fly away and has fun with them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lia: I caught this balloon before it flowed away. I think God has enough balloons.

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Blogging!

Having had this blog since I was 19 years old, I have a kind of reference library for my writing in a way--I would definitely go as far as referring to it as a history of my personality and sense of humor. I turn 27 this month, and my little archaic viewer counter just recently reached 20,000 visitors onto this page, and  while I'm sure 20k unique individuals haven't read my blog, A LOT of people have. Old friends, lost friends, ex-boyfriends, strangers, creepers, you name it and it's come here, I'm sure.

For giggles I started browsing through the archive and stumbled onto this post: http://stupidsometimes.blogspot.com/2009/02/tag-im-it.html from 3+ years ago, and to be honest, it still makes me laugh :D
Lee says I'm the only person he knows that cracks herself up as much as I do, and I just tell him that I crack myself up because I'm hilarious!

But it is a strange feeling going back. I've not reread my entire blog, but I wonder sometimes how I will feel if my children ever read this mess.  I'm sure I will be ashamed of plenty and will have a lot of explaining to do, but this is all I've ever known really. Before this blog, there was a old funky geocities page on yahoo, and before that I would write in a journal. But writing is all I know.

I think of my English degree and wonder, what the hell am I? People with teaching degrees are teachers, biology degrees--biologists, chemistry degrees are chemists, engineering degrees are engineers, but WHAT AM I!?

So I went to college to learn how to read and write better that the a-ver-age bear (although you would never know it by judging the grammar and writing on this blog!) But what am I really?I don't think I'm there yet. I don't think I've yet done enough to establish myself in this world, but here I am still clicking away at this keyboard. still hitting publish on this blog that... can be a little stupid sometimes, ya know?!

Saturday, July 07, 2012

The Burn--A cautionary tale

Was it preventable? Absolutely, but because of my getting distracted and not paying attention as much as I should have, I spilled searing hot oil on my hand while trying to brown some meat for a lasagne.

Now 4 days later, while doing the exercises that the occupational therapist taught me at the burn center, I'm typing this post--slowly.

I'm currently being monitored by a plastic surgeon and am in risk of needing to have skin graft surgery.

The moral of the story: Slow down and do each daily task diligently and safely. It could be anything from safely storing cleaning products to exercising due caution when cooking.

Trust me, It's worth it!

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Cloth Diapers Revisited: Advice for cloth diapering on vacation

It has been almost 3 months now using cloth diapers, and I have to say that I'm convinced this is the best method for diapering. Having diapered my first daughter conventionally using disposables, I feel like I have a good reference for comparison. My most recent vacation to Myrtle Beach definitely solidified my growing and strengthening preference toward cloth diapering.

So we recently went on vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. I know, I know. What kind of crazy person goes on vacation with a 2 month old, right?!!? And had it been only for vacation's sake, we probably wouldn't have gone, but it was so that Lee parents could meet the baby and also we knew that Lia would have a blast, and it ended up being AWESOME and Maggie was an angel!

Anyway, we brought both disposables and cloth on our trip, and I have to admit that the cloth diapers are just more comfortable for the baby and more effective.

How do I know they are more comfortable? Because the plastic of the disposable was rubbing into her skin along the tops of her legs. She was getting these thin cuts along her thighs and hips. Now you may be thinking that I didn't get the right size, but you'd be wrong. They fit perfectly except that natural movement of her body would cause the thin elastic to bunch and stretch and scrape her legs. Maggie is a chunkier baby (95% in weight), so with the soft cotton of the pre fold, I don't have to worry about that!

How do I know they are more effective? Because when she poops in a cloth diaper it stays IN the diaper and doesn't slide its way up to her back! that only happens when she's wearing a disposable. And there isn't anything worse than baby poop all over your brand new dress!

Needless to say, we used our cloth diapers as much as we could on the trip and only put the disposables on her when the cloths were washing.

That is the downside though--the need to wash, and the kind of stinky stanky-ness in between washes, because there ain't no way around it--cloth diapers are stinkier when they can't be washed as often.

Here are some tips for cloth diapering on the go or on vacation!

1. To be honest cloth diapering on vacation is just like cloth diapering at home EXCEPT that you'll really need to use your wet bag for storage of the soiled diapers instead of your large bin, like at home. So choose a nice big wet bag instead of the small ones that way if ever you need to store more than a couple of diapers, like when on a play date, you'll be prepared for any situation. I have the large planet wise wet diaper bag and it worked really well. But be prepared it does get a little ripe in between washes.

2. Remember to wash/dry diapers before you completely run out of clean diapers. OR bring a few disposables. I use prefolds and diaper covers. (I've used fitteds, all in ones, and disposables, but My stand out favorites are the prefolds and covers. It is an extra step but well worth it to me. Stay tuned for a blog about that very subject soon!) having a couple of diapers on hand at all times is vital! But where do you put them dirty ones when the wet bag is washing!?!? That's why I brought some disposables along too!

3. CLOTH WIPES! That way you can clean the baby and just stick everything in the wet bag, and not have to worry about a separate bag or bin for the wipes. My friend gave me some cloth wipes a while back and here's a link to make you own diaper wipes solution. http://www.zany-zebra.com/cloth-wipe-solution.shtml

Hope this helps!

---->CLICK HERE<----- to read about my initial experiences cloth diapering a newborn!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Little Lia

 Sometimes I get so frustrated with Lia for her just being herself. I wish she were more mature (yikes! she's only 5 years old, what do I expect, right?!) I wish she were a faster learner. More advanced. More patient. I don't know why. I guess it's the danger of comparison. I promised myself when she was a baby that I would never compare her to other children, but somewhere along the way I started breaking that promise. And it wasn't until yesterday evening that I realized how special those little quirks of hers are. How precious her personality is, and how I should NEVER wish she were more conventional. It was only after I told a couple of stories about Lia to a friend that the blinders were lifted off my eyes. (All this may seem common sensical to all of you, but to me it was a real revelation. For some reason, I wanted Lia to read like all her friends read, and play like all her friends play, and learn like all her friends learn, and it really frustrated me that she didn't)

Anyway below are the anecdotes that made my heart melt for my beautiful daughter Lia.

Story #1: The Inchworm

Lia  became infatuated with bugs a couple of months back. She was determined to have a bug as a pet. So when her dad took her to the park for a friend's birthday party, she seized the opportunity to catch an inchworm and bring him home. She set up a little sanctuary for him inside a plastic cup-with branch, leaf, grass and flowers. It was an inchworm paradise.That night when she went to bed I got curious about what that little worm was doing in there, so I took him off the table where he'd been situated and sat the cup on the floor next to me. Well I got sleepy, went to bed, and completely forgot about the little worm until the morning, when I noticed the cup had been tipped over and a cat licking his lips. Oreo, our cat, had eaten Lia's worm, and it was all my fault! First thing she asked when she woke up that morning was about her worm, and I felt terrible when I had to tell her the truth, "mommy put the cup on the floor and oreo ended up eating the worm. I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me." And she did forgive me. She's an angel.

Story # 2: The roly poly

She tried having a bug as a pet again, and another plastic cup came into the house.  Inside was a large, rolled up roly poly. At first I thought it was just too scared to unroll, but as the hours passed I started to suspect that the roly poly was dead.... My daughter brought home a dead roly poly as a pet. I convinced her that he'd be happier outside in the fresh air, and she and her daddy went downstairs and "set him free."


Story #3: The boy and the Girl

This is the preface to story #4. And it starts with a question Lia asked me months ago, "Mommy, how does a boy get a girl?"
Of course I asked her what she meant by that, and she clarified, "You know; how did daddy get you?" So it dawned on me, she wants to know how you get a husband or a wife. Boy = Husband.

Story # 4: In America

In attempt to teach my 5 year old about the meaning of Memorial Day, I do the usual.... make up songs to the melody of famous show tunes! This time I used West Side Story's America. I tried to express to her how lucky she is to be an American. How in other countries girls can't go to school, or marry whom they wish to marry, or wear what they want to wear, or become what they want to become.She had been telling me recently that she wants to be a pilot when she grows up. So naturally I started there... "Lia can be a pilot in America. She can fly planes in America. Watch her fly high in America! Lia's a pilot in America!" Maggie was a Dentist in America... Lia then became a gymnast in America, and I finally ended with "ORRR you can be what mommy is!! 'Lia can be a stay at home mom in America. Take care of her babies in America. Give them hugs and kisses in America. All day long in America!" She sat quiet for only a moment before she asked me...  "Mommy can I be a pilot and my boy stay home with the kids?" I looked at her with both shock and pride...Inside I'm thinking "HELL YEAH! You can be a pilot and let your old man stay home with the kids!! My strong, independent, warrior princess!" But to her I only said, "Of course you can do that! Baby this is AMERICA! You can do anything you want in America!"

Saturday, May 19, 2012

That Gummy Grin

Some instinctual, innate happiness,
Which comes only from pure joy.
Truly immaculate.
The type of satisfaction and contentment
Forgotten by adults, echoed by children, but known by infants--
So recently bodiless--wholly spiritual beings
In the presence of the Lord.
Then cocooned in the warm, safe womb of a mother--
Floating, swaying, singing, dancing to the gentle thumping of her heart.
Then the cold comes.
The scratchy linens upon sensitive smooth skin.
The loud noises
The unfamiliar faces and colors--
with only the comforting and familiar embrace of mommy to ease the fear.
In the infantile slumber there are
Visions
Memories
Of Paradise.
Of Glory.
Of God.
Then spread across the chubby cheeked cherub
A wide gummy grin.

delve

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

When do I reenter the world?

This past weekend marked the first time that I'd ventured out with the baby since she was born.  1 month. I spent a month inside. It felt like I was quarantined, but it is shocking how quickly time flies with a newborn. Perhaps the lack of sleep melts all the days together, and once you've revived enough to be moderately coherent another week has gone by.



Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Newborn-two weeks down & a lifetime to go


I'm so incredibly happy to have baby Maggie. Thank God that He knows more than I do. Thank God that He is in charge of my life, and I'm not. Thank God that His plans for my life are wiser and better than my plans. In reality, I've yet to plan a child. I don't know the feeling of "trying" to have a kid. Both of my children were wonderful little surprises :D Quite honestly, I'm pretty certain that had I been left to plan that part of my life, I probably would not have any kids!

But one thing I wish I would have planned better was what to do with this angel baby once we come home. I don't remember being this insecure the  first time around. I double-guess every single decision or thought I have as to the proper way to react or proceed in any given situation. What is with this insecurity? I keep trying to go with the flow, but then something inside me screams, "You're messing up. You're not doing this right."


Monday, April 16, 2012

Quotes of Late

Me: Don't let that cat in here. I want him to think a fire-breathing dragon lives in this room.

Lia: Look at her smell holes.
   (Aka: Nostrils)

Lia to her Gma who's come to visit: Wanna see all the ants in my room?!?!?!?!

Lee: Your mom's gonna be here at 1:50 and it's already 1 o'clock!!...(Looks at the clock and its 11:45).


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Newborn, Week Two: What did I get myself into?

So Maggie made 1 week on Friday, and week 2 has been filled with worry that I'm not doing this right. I can't sleep at night. I can't nap during the day. I'm consumed with, "Am I letting her nap too much? Is she getting enough milk? Should I have her on some sort of schedule like they do in BabyWise? Am I feeding her too often. Should I change her diaper while she napping or let her sleep? Should I change her diaper before or after I nurse....."

It's endless.

All this led me to start searching the internet for sleep schedules and feeding schedules for newborns, and I've learned 2 things on this search journey.

1. Newborns make their own schedules and God designed it that way. So if that kid wants to eat, feed him. And if that kid wants to sleep, let him.

2. There are too many resources in this world. Too many experts writing too many books about stuff that is instinctual and common sensical, and all its good for is to make us second-guess ourselves as mothers and wives BUT ESPECIALLY as mothers.

From this point forward I'm leaning on God and His holy Spirit to lead me. To give me strength in the endless nights and patience during  the busy and loud days.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Cloth Diapering: my first week

There are so many blogs, websites, youtube videos devoted to cloth diapering and why it's awesome and why it's best for your baby and yadda yadda yadda...

Lemme just tell you from an honest, non-biased perspective what I've learned from my very first week of cloth diapering my newborn.


My daughter Maggie was born last Friday. We were released from the hospital Saturday night, and since Saturday night I've been cloth diapering, with the exception of a few disposables here and there (mostly for the benefit of having my husband change a diaper, since he's uber-uncomfortable with the cloth ones so far....don't get me wrong though, he's pretty bad with the disposables too!)

Mythbuster time:

Myth #1: Cloth diapers take longer to change than disposables---TRUE!
-While I'm not going to exaggerate and say that it takes 10X longer or anything like that, it does indeed take longer to do a diaper change and all around diaper care than disposables. I read a blog somewhere that said "it's as easy as 1,2,3." Okay yeah putting the baby in the diaper takes three steps, and we can ALL master three steps but there are other more time consuming steps too...
Step 1: Theres removing the soiled diaper and  putting it aside for further care. *Notice I said remove and not get rid of or dispose. There's a reason for this, once i get to the later steps*

Step 2: clean baby (normal)

Step 3: put on fitted or pre-fold diaper onto baby. The fitted ones have velcro or snaps. The prefolds require a snappy or pin.

Step 4: Place cover.

Here's the doozy:

Step 5: Clean the poop off the original diaper.
---So I read somewhere---Newborn poop is runny and water soluble, you can just stick in the washer and it comes right out. Well it didn't work like that for me! I had poop all over everything in that washer-- the other diapers, the machine.... It was horrible and had to do another load, and let me just tell you--having to use all that water does not make me happy. Thankfully we purchased a diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet. (and it leaks! but we're learning to deal with it--that's another story) Anyways back to the poop.

Here's my system:
- take poopy diaper to toilet.
-spray poop into toilet.
-wring out sopping wet diaper into toilet
-spray stains with enzyme spray
-place diaper into diaper pail.

So Yeah putting the diaper on is easy as 1.2.3, but the general process is much longer!

Myth #2: Cloth diapers stink--False
--No they don't. (that one was easy)

Myth #3: Cloth diapers work just as well as disposables
--Yes and no.
The baby is definitely wetter. I find this kind of concerning because I'm worried that the wetness will cause rashes and even though I change her super often, she seems to be in a perpetual state of laying on wet cloths, which I would think is very uncomfortable. I mean when my clothes get wet, and I have to sit in it for a while, I'm uncomfortable.
But this wetness comes with a good reason. I've eliminated all those chemicals and other unnatural substances from her skin by not putting her in a disposable. So while disposables do keep the baby drier (which in the middle of the night when I'm exhausted and really don't feel like getting up to change another diaper, sounds realllllllyyyyyyy tempting!) the cloth diapers keep the baby more natural. (I won't say healthier because I'm not sure if there are any health concerns about diapers. I do know that environmentally all that waste is terrible. There are statistics somewhere on the internet that says a baby goes through a ton of diapers in his lifetime or something outrageous like that.)  But healthier, I'm not sure. Maggie has a little redness on her bottom, and I'm wondering if it isn't from all that wet cloth on her butt.

So these are my discoveries after a week.

I've also done about 5 loads of diapers in the washer so far. (The drier is running right now actually)
Use the hot/cold.

Now that didn't seem like a positive review, but it's only because those were the things that I had optimistically believed when reading about this process that turned out to not be so exact. All in all, Im happy about them. They aren't difficult to use (just more time consuming).  I'm adjusting.